[readolog_dropcap ]T[/readolog_dropcap]he drive to conquer and completely master a set of skills, is a goal that I have striven to achieve and can confidently say that I have gained with a few unique skillsets. What is important is that we realize that it is not necessarily about the skillset you will acquire once you have mastered any given skill, but it is what you learn about yourself, and about learning new skills, during the path to mastery.

The path to mastery is the experience that one has when putting in the long and arduous hours of mastering a new skillset. Mastery is an experience; it is a long and difficult journey, filled with many trials, setbacks, successes, failures, and periods of hopelessness.  It is what you learn in dealing with all of these tests of character that define who you become as a person, and whether or not you master a given skillset.

A PERSONAL STORY. THE BACKGROUND TO MASTERY.

When I was 16 years old, I was just a tall and skinny kid who was suffering from depression. I had a decent social life and was popular, but I had no physical or mental strength, and this was manifested in my frail and weak body that could not perform at all.  I was long pushed to play basketball since I was 10 years old but every single time I tried to play I was the weakest person on the court, despite my advantage in height, I always felt pathetic and lame and made excuses as to what I was good at, because clearly it was not the sport of basketball.

I was no good at lifting weights and was so weak that the first day I went into the gym with my good friend I chest pressed on a stable machine that was only 3lbs on each arm for a total of 8 reps and could not move my arms the next day. Nearly any woman you find today was probably at least ten times stronger than I was.  Eating pure sugar and processed foods had left my body weak and decrepit.

[readolog_blockquote]I would become stronger than everyone else, more knowledgeable, eat better, function better, and perform at my peak and compete on a highly athletic level.  I started adding fuel to my Ego so that I could begin the journey.[/readolog_blockquote]

I endured being made fun of by all of my friends, picked apart, bullied, and could see people staring at me in the gym, I was so tall but so weak, I had no idea what I was doing. I would lift way to heavy and end up hurting myself and not focus on the right form or technique.  I went to the doctor only to have him tell me to stop going so heavy and tone it down a bit.  I had no mentor or anyone to teach me, but there was something different between me and the other kids my age.

I knew that there was something different about my friends and me even though they were athletes who were successful at the time. I knew that being as young as I was, that I had as long as I needed to learn these new skills and develop my physical strength.   So mentally I made the decision: nothing would stop me from developing the strongest and most functional body, I would become stronger than everyone else, more knowledgeable, eat better, function better, and perform at my peak and compete on a highly athletic level.  I started adding fuel to my Ego so that I could begin the journey.

…It took me nearly 5 years to realize this goal.

This was my personal journey and it took years of training and being committed. I first learned what REAL commitment and work ethic was because I would become physically ill if I missed a workout from my routine, that’s how badly I wanted it.  I would do 4 days a week of heavy and functional full-body weight training.  I learned how to deadlift heavy, proper form for nearly all exercises, I found yoga and cycling during this time, and I taught myself how to Olympic lift.

But if someone could see the setbacks that I had during this time it would discourage most people from even attempting to master anything, because it is not an easy experience, and you come out the other end as a different person.

• I got made fun of frequently.
• I had injuries and setbacks.
• My diet fluctuated as I learned and tried new things; I relapsed to old bad eating habits while I was still growing.
• I hit plateaus where my strength and understanding would not go up at all, sometimes for weeks on end.
• I was broke and jobless for months on end.
• I would become addicted to the exercise and neglect other aspects of my life.
• I fell in love and got my heart broken for the first time.
• I thought that I would never find my purpose and that there was no point to what I was doing.
• I went through one of the deepest periods of depression during my life and developed an illness.

I hit a period of my life where I needed to become a Warrior, during this time of deep depression that I went through. I started doing the most intense weight training that I had ever done, my diet was sound, and I was very disciplined, more than I had ever been in my entire life up until then.  I did a workout specifically tailored to basketball that consisted of heavy and fast paced weight training, pushing my body to the physical limit over a period of 3 months after years of compounded training.

I started competing in basketball, and although my IQ of the game was still low and my technical skills sucked, I had developed enough inherent athleticism to find my niche while my skills developed. I could still play defense all out, I knew I had the coordination and athleticism to shut anyone down on the defensive end; I knew I could jump higher than anyone and get rebounds.  I knew that if I worked on my shot and skills at the rim I could become a real threat and change games.

This was the summer of my life where all I did was wake up every single day and go compete for 4-5 hours a day, weight train on top of it, and than wake up and do it all over again.

Sometimes I would wake up so paralyzed and sore that I would beg my family to bring me a glass of water because I couldn’t move. If I didn’t take an ice bath I knew I would not be able to move at all the next day after playing.  The pain I experienced felt like my muscles were being ripped off of my bones.  But when I got on the court something else entirely was carrying me, and over the course of a few months I had developed real skill.  I could sink 25 free throws in a row and had developed my own sweet spots on the court.  I would play pretty talented kids that had played their whole lives and actually be able to win and impact the game.  Some of the people I competed with were successful college level athletes, and I held my own pretty well.

I finally knew what it was like to compete. I knew what it was like to pour my heart and soul both physically and mentally into something and not care about if I died right in that moment; all I cared about was winning.  The competition was something I never had growing up because I told myself I was too weak and I never had guidance or a mentor to teach me how to use my body.

[readolog_blockquote] I cried for who I was and all the pain I had experienced[/readolog_blockquote]

It happens to you one day when you have a journey like this on the path to mastery. All of a sudden I reflected back on my struggles and how far I came.  I broke down and started crying.  For the person I used to be.  I cried for who I was and all the pain I had experienced.  I could finally heal, I could finally let go, I had conquered my shadow and my demons, I knew that if I could do that on a physical and spiritual level, I could do ANYTHING that I set my mind to.

I took my greatest weakness and turned it around to become my greatest strength in life, and I can confidently say this to you right now: If I hadn’t done it I might not even be alive right now for all I know, or I could be addicted to drugs, or depressed, or just working a lame job as a weak individual who does not know how to give his all at anything. This is not the life I want for myself and if you are reading this I know this is not the life you want either.

This is what the path to Mastery is. The path to mastery is the first time you complete a journey to mastery and can look back and see just how far you’ve come, how much you have changed and evolved.  The type of human being you are at this point in your life now that you went from not knowing anything about something, to it becoming a part of your soul and body.

This is when you get to reflect back and tell yourself something that is very intense to admit and realize…

You can do it again. And you can master anything that you are willing to put the time in and commit to.

Some people inherently know they can probably master anything with enough work and experience and growth, and this is what scares them. They are not ready for the trials that come with it, for people to make fun of them and laugh at their decision, to have the fortitude to push on.  I am just trying to say that if there is something your heart is in and the rest of the world will mock and try to stop you, that it is your MISSION to do this thing.

Whatever you fear the most in terms of growth or something you would like to try, do not think about it one second further and just go and do that. What we build the most fear around is most often what our soul is craving the most, pushing through fear requires courage and dedication, but it is always worth it in the end.

After I had mastered myself physically in an athletic sense my greatest fear was socialization. Years of being somewhat introverted in my nature and focusing on going inwards to my body and than using all of my outwards energy in my training and competition, had left my social skills lagging behind to the point where just talking to a girl would cause me to get severe social anxiety.

I saw plenty of my male friends go off to college with the promise of parties and being able to be around an abundance of drunk and pretty girls. Honestly, this is the only real reason I even wanted to go to college in the first place, but I asked myself this question:

There would be no more parties or classes; I would be stuck to fend for myself. If meeting women was the only reason my heart even wanted to go to college, I figured why not just skip college altogether and just work on the skillset and problem I needed to solve in and of itself.

I had so much social anxiety and fear about meeting women it was insane. This was after my first girlfriend and love and I had no real idea how to handle women.  I did not know the first thing about what women were turned on by, how to talk to a girl and get to know her on an intimate level, how to become sexual with someone or physically intimate.  I knew that these were all things that would hinder my entire life if I did not go and do them NOW.

So for a period of my life, about 3 years, I went out almost on a full time basis and went to meet new women and make new friends. I would say about half the time I was broke and jobless and barely had enough money to put gas in my car to go out in the first place, but I did not care as long as I could go out and meet new people.

The first time I worked up the nerve to talk to a random girl at the mall, my hands were trembling, my voice was cracking, I was sweating, and I was extremely awkward. I ended up getting her number but was extremely embarrassed by it.

But the great thing was: I did not care at all! I felt so amazing and freed from facing my fear, I was actually able to push through the physical and mental reaction my body had to the fear, the shaking and anxiety, and I was able to conquer it.

The next 3 years included me going out sometimes as much as 5 days a week to work on my social skills. I went from being a guy who would nervously glance at women and look away instantly, and someone who did not even KNOW how to smile.  I am not kidding, I did not know how to smile, I physically could not.  I never had dates, I never slept with beautiful women, I had no skills conversationally, and was very awkward around women.

A few years later I could have 4-5 dates a week if I wanted, my conversations would flow smoothly and naturally, my body language had changed so much that there was a visible improvement to my facial structure from human connection and smiling. I went from being so ridden with social anxiety that it caused depression, to getting the best natural highs of my life from simply socializing with a lot of cool new men and women.

[readolog_blockquote]This was another chapter of my life that I had mastered and can reflect back on and say: “ok, if I can do that, I can master anything.”[/readolog_blockquote]

I met women from all around the world, some had successful careers, some were college students, and many of the people I met had amazing and unique talents that I never would have learned about if I allowed my fear to cripple me. I learned not to judge anyone from my experience and that nearly everyone has unique skills that only they have.

Then after 3 years, I met the woman of my dreams, she shared all of my interests, she ate well, exercises regularly, loved nature, was nurturing and feminine, but also hard-working with a good masculine side to her that helped to balance me out. She was drop dead beautiful, and the night I met her I needed all of the skills that I learned over the 3 years of facing my fears socially. This was another chapter of my life that I had mastered and can reflect back on and say: “ok, if I can do that, I can master anything.”

THE PROCESS IS ALWAYS THE SAME.

The process for both of the examples I listed above is always the same. It is about repetition, shattering fear with courage, overcoming limiting beliefs, and most importantly a heart-driven persistence that will overcome anything.

You MUST have heart-driven persistence or you will not succeed at mastering a given skill or skillset. It is about the repetition of repeating a skill multiple times over and over; this is how the nervous system and mind computes skills and experiences on a subconscious level.  The analytical level of the mind or the ego only composes less than 10% of who we are as a being.  The rest of who we are is determined by our subconscious on a deeper level of intelligence.  An intelligence that comes from our BODY.

To master any given skillset we must be ready to endure repeated exposure and experience. We learn through EXPERIENCE.  Sure deadlifting 200lbs might be impossible the first time that you ever do it, but a few months later with a couple dozen more times doing that weight, it could easily be your warm-up weight.

Repetition through EXPERIENCE, not through memorization, is what leads to mastery. We must embody the task that we wish to master and repeat it over and over.  For me to find the woman of my dreams and have the abundance needed to meet her, I first had to talk to thousands of women.  How else would my subconscious know what I wanted in the first place?  Or how else would I have learned the subtle skills of body language and conversation?

This is what separates a master tradesman from an apprentice or journeyman. The master can perform the work perfectly every single time.  The apprentice may even be able to match the master’s skill in the work, except he will be working at a fraction of the pace that the master can work at.  The master is capable of perfection and speed because the movements and actions required to construct his trade are imbedded deeply in his being from repetition and prolonged exposure to his trade.

A great book to study about the process and journey of mastery with many great examples in history is MASTERY, BY ROBERT FROST.   His book uses many great examples from history about the process of mastery and how to go about it; I listen to it on audiobook frequently and find it extremely interesting.

The standard accepted number, if we wish to put a number on a skill; to become one of the best in the world at a given skill is 10,000 hours. This typically means that it will take anywhere from 7-10 years to master a given skill.  I believe that this is not necessarily set in stone, but I do consider it to be pretty accurate.

The thing is we can greatly reduce this learning curve by finding good mentors, studying from the best, applying their techniques and remixing them, to develop our own style, this can reduce the learning curve greatly, but you will always need to put a ton of hard and repetitive work in.

Be ADAPTABLE, always be combining skills and techniques, never get caught up on a single medium.

Sometimes it takes us some time to figure out what the ONE thing we want to dedicate our lives to is, if we ever do at all. Not everyone’s passion will be as neatly expressed as the musician who has 15,000hours of experience playing and is one of the best in the world.   Some of us will be remixing our skillsets and combining them to develop our own unique form of mastery.

The skills I learned about my body and competition I can apply to anything I do in life, I can go and maintain my body, become strong physically for challenging times in my life, and apply the competitive spirit I gained from sports to any experience I have in life such as business.

Being able to combine skills, and chisel out your niche and unique set of skills for mastery, is what makes us all individuals and what will ultimately determine the value that you can offer to others through being unique.

The great thing is that once you understand the Path to Mastery, when a new challenge in your life arises, or you fear what will happen if you wish to become a singer suddenly, or you are worried about a new job and performing well at it; you really do not need to really fret any longer.

Because you now know how to master anything, once you master something you have discovered the path to mastery, and you can replicate it over and over. Understanding the path to mastery completely kills all of the excuses that we can create for ourselves in life, so you will know that if you are not creating the life you desire, it is simply your own fault.

If you have not yet experienced the Path to Mastery, it is important that you dedicate yourself RIGHT NOW to whatever your heart is being drawn towards the most. I will not go into to much detail on how to do that in this article because that is a personal journey and no one can tell you what that skill or task is except you.

A good way to start is by gathering up some courage and charging head on towards your biggest fears. Always follow your heart and your dreams. Trust me, once you enter your fears, there is never darkness on the other side.